Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
I accidentally threw away from slim jim and some lady saw me dig it out of the garbage. It was unopened but still, I look so homeless.
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
Randomize
