what day is it and did you see me today?
this boner is exhausting
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They pay me enough to pretend to be either helpful, or heterosexual. If they want both I need one hell of a raise.
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
Randomize