marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
My dad assaulted a TSA agent this morning. Shut down airport security. Don't tell me that your family is embarrassing.
It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
I took the weekend off because he and I were supposed to go to Vegas for our anniversary and get a hooker remember?
Ah, yes. Who says romance is dead?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
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