Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
I fill condoms, not promises.
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
It's 8 in the morning and you're doing coke and drinking margaritas. First, you have a problem. Second, why didn't you invite me?
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
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