I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
I tried to smoke out of half a banana, and lit my nose hair on fire. So I feel like that sums up my life pretty well.
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize
