i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
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