Dude this girl just said she'd take me to pleasure town while giving me head
Will Ferrell is probably jerking himself off somewhere wishing he was you
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
I just found a samari sword in the couch. I'm about to take like 5 shots and pretend to be captain jack sparrow
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
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