do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
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I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
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He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
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