is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
I'm sorry I drunk dialed you before realizing that you were already in bed with me.
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
It’s easy for me to be professional, the tough part is finding the perfect amount of bitchy undertone
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Randomize
