it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
there is nothing more depressing than your birth control alarm going off while you're masturbating, and realizing you've been taking pointless precautions for over a month now.
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
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