if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
Ikea night.
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Insert tab A into swedish slot B
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
I woke up covered in sausage cart mustard and champagne
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
Come back. Shots need mouths.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
All my friends are going on vacations with their boyfriends while I’m over here in court trying to get a restraining order against my ex....
Reminder to self: never have sex on a trampoline. Trampoline burn hurts worse than carpet burn.
Randomize