During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
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