It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
Randomize
