This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
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