you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
i just wrote an ode to an enchilada dorito. i'll need that pregnancy test now please.
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
I'm pretty sure I lit a prostitute's cigarette while sharing a pizza with a homeless guy last night
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
Randomize
