Um....I woke up to a lipgloss covered bottle of Jack daniels in my arms..
You've kissed worse.
It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
After I was arrested and in the back of the squad, she lit a cig. I politely stuck my head through the glass opening and asked for a drag. She instantly slammed my head back, blew smoke at me and shut the glass. My view on state trooper chicks is forever tainted.
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Randomize
