Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
I can't make this stuff up. Your ex is singing I Will Survive on the karaoke.
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
I may or may not have been feeling patriotic and banged Captain America in a closet. SPOILER ALERT: We broke his shield
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