I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize
