my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
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this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
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do you still have a key to my apartment? Without going into too much detail locked myself out naked on the patio, currently using a deck cushion to cover myself so kids walking home from school dont see me
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
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