It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
Randomize
