I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
Almost screamed "GO FISH MOTHER FUCKER" at the girl I nanny today. Drunken card games shouldn't bleed into my sober life.
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
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