Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
I woke up with semen in my invisalign. My molars were just marinating in it
He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
Randomize
