So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
nothing says "you're fucked" like watching a movie with the family and a handle of vodka comes crashing down from your hiding spot in the ceiling tiles.
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
Just did. I played that shit out so casual I deserve an Oscar. Or am Emmy, or whatever the fuck you get for acting like a boss
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
Randomize
