if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
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