You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
You were walking around with a baby carrier pretending your vodka was a baby. You tried to get pictures on santas lap
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
Randomize