did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
I'll truly miss your penis but your use of words and phrases such as bae, yolo, swag, and totes have ruined how attractive you once were.
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
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