Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
I just slammed another champagne, swaggered over to her, pointed across the room at the 20 y/o lacrosse player and whispered loudly, "I brought that one for YOU." I'm getting a raise.
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
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