just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
Tripping over coffee tables hurts shins but face is okay bc I landed on a sofa.
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize
