i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
Jesus fucking Mary Christ if I have to clean shit out of my fucking bathtub one more fucking time I'm gonna murder a fucking kitten
Did you get drunk between now and two texts ago?
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