he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
i just sent this text using only my big toe
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
Randomize
