I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
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They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
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We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
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