I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
the liquor store lady asked about three times if I was sure about buying two fifths of everclear. i told her I wanted to be on cops
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
He walked into me masturbating to a framed picture of Bill Murray riding a t-rex
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
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