that's the second time you've been mistaken as a prostitute. maybe life is trying to tell you something
its my fault though, i'm wearing tights
you're hiking in tights? you remind me of dennis quaid's fiance in the parent trap
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
spending my first valentines day single in 3 years blazed and eating heart shaped brownies i bought myself. WHO NEEDS A MAN.
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
