this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
Woke up to sesame street reruns and a $62 pizza bill. Never again. I mean it this time.
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
They woke me up at 4 in the morning screaming "drunk adventure time!" because they needed a sober chaperone. They made me walk them around the block shoeless.
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
That tingly feeling you're experiencing in your lady parts is my mustache. All the ladies of America are waking up feeling the same thing. You're welcome.
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
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