I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
To celebrate your birthday last night, I got drunk and sang drift away in buffalo wild wings. Happy birthday. The entire bar sang the chorus with me. It was magical.
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
the only good thing about breaking up with him while naked was that i got to make a forgetting sarah marshall reference
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
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