Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
headbutted the bartender, tried to bite the bouncer, and pissed on a cops shoes. and i still got laid. god, it's good to be home
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
A dude just looked at me like my drunk swaying was corrupting his progeny DUDE YOUR KID HAS A MULLET YOU'VE ALREADY RUINED HIM
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
Randomize
