The sex toys I ordered are being shipped to my billing address instead of shipping address. Take a guess where they're on their way to right now - my parents' house. And the package has to be signed for so there's no way around it. Fuck.
so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
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