I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
Nothing wrong with a little cat scratch fever. You have toys?
A few, plus a dildo molded from a porn star that I've always been too intimidated of to actually use, but it's the apocalypse, and momma didn't raise no quitter.
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