And then he proceeded to take my heartbeat, because apparently that tells him whether I was faking or not...
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
It all started with a game of naked twister.
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
Accidentally texted co-worker instead of bf “I’m wfh tomrw. Nooner? 💦”
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
Panties = found
Randomize
