That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
My entire life is one complicated drinking game
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
Randomize
