How many nights a week you wake up with sticky boxers cause you were dreaming of Clay Aiken? Your wife mad?
new years resolution: more sex, less car punching, more chipotle.
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
I'm hiding out in the living room until he falls back asleep. If he catches a whiff of my tits, it's all over. I just need to play it cool. Babies can smell fear
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
hurry up. it's a friday night and i'm drinking in my office by myself. wearing a stewie griffin costume. the cleaning lady is judging me.
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