My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
Randomize
