Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
Dude, you need to come and get her. She's sitting on the bathroom floor making hearts with her menstrual blood. And remind me never to let her do jello shots again
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
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