I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
just so you know, your brother isn't driving home wasted tonight. he is, instead, in my dorm shower screaming about rubbing his butt with my loofah; thought you would be proud
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
I just wanted to give you a heads up. There's a crab in the kitchen. He doesn't have a name yet. We are just calling him crab for now. Oh! and we have memosas!
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
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