And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
rethinking that breast reduction surgery... i'm tired of drunkenly explaining the scars to guys who don't really give a shit
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
I'm gonna buy my dress an hour before wedding. You know, just to make sure it's gonna really happen.
T'would be a shame to waste that open bar though. They shouldn't do that to us. We've been having to pretend we're happy for two people who got engaged a week after they met.
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
Randomize
