Texts From Last Night

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  (248): View more from Michigan

  Sry I called you an 8

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  (248): Sry I called you an 8 http://tfl.nu/qhuo
  Replies (5) Good night (973) Bad night (1777)
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  (954): View more from Florida

  Your an asshole

  (1-954): View more from Florida

  Actually, it's "you're an asshole"

  (954): View more from Florida

  My point exactly

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  (954): Your an asshole (1-954): Actually, it's "you're an asshole" (954): My point exactly http://tfl.nu/txzi
  Replies (47) Good night (3463) Bad night (678)
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  (416): View more from Ontario

  Going to spend my cab money on more shots and just take the ambulance home

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  (416): Going to spend my cab money on more shots and just take the ambulance home http://tfl.nu/32l0
  Replies (54) Good night (27576) Bad night (2655)
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  (203): View more from Connecticut

  can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?

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  (203): can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town? http://tfl.nu/qtp4
  Replies (50) Good night (752) Bad night (1895)
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  (410): View more from Maryland

  He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.

  (1-410): View more from Maryland

  True romance of the 21st century.

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  (410): He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too. (1-410): True romance of the 21st century. http://tfl.nu/laza
  Replies (62) Good night (13224) Bad night (1233)
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  (814): View more from Pennsylvania

  Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?

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  (814): Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke? http://tfl.nu/jbqp
  Replies (14) Good night (4275) Bad night (978)
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  (586): View more from Michigan

  Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"

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  (586): Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face" http://tfl.nu/ajht
  Replies (6) Good night (2179) Bad night (579)
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  (613): View more from Ontario

  Just got a groupon for a segway rental: fireworks segway battle at my house. What say you?

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  (613): Just got a groupon for a segway rental: fireworks segway battle at my house. What say you? http://tfl.nu/o3d1
  Replies (4) Good night (1626) Bad night (412)
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  (567): View more from Ohio

  Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.

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  (567): Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger. http://tfl.nu/4mv9
  Replies (7) Good night (753) Bad night (488)
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  (765): View more from Indiana

  I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.

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  (765): I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals. http://tfl.nu/d4lh
  Replies (0) Good night (770) Bad night (360)
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  (+81): View more from

  I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?

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  (+81): I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing? http://tfl.nu/61om
  Replies (4) Good night (677) Bad night (304)
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  (330): View more from Ohio

  Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma

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  (330): Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma http://tfl.nu/lbww
  Replies (3) Good night (623) Bad night (311)
• Favorite

  (505): View more from New Mexico

  There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.

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  (505): There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy. http://tfl.nu/c3w4
  Replies (6) Good night (1834) Bad night (438)
• Favorite

  (214): View more from Texas

  I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.

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  (214): I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted. http://tfl.nu/jl70
  Replies (6) Good night (1341) Bad night (347)
• Favorite

  (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!

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  (412): Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life! http://tfl.nu/3yi6
  Replies (5) Good night (834) Bad night (218)

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