Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
Every time my boyfriend threatens to commit suicide I change my relationship status as "widowed".
Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
25 People Confess The Most Awkward Situation They’ve Ever Been In
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
So apparently the bar gave out free condoms, which I now have a pocket full of. Why is drunk me shoving the fact that I'm single and not getting laid in sober me's face...
These Are 21 Of The Most Delusional People Ever
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
At one point, the bartender wrote out the words "please kill me" on some receipt paper and slid it across the bar to me.