So shortly after drunk sex...she starts crying and saying..." you don't care about me, you never do anything nice for me" so I called her a cab
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
21 Embarrassing Stories From Adults Who’ve Crapped Their Pants
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
If you've ever wondered what a shitshow is, just watch me at the bar on a Friday. Or Tuesday. Take your pick.
21 People Confess What It’s Really Like At An Orgy
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
Props to the guy blatantly doing coke in the bathroom at the bar. Walked out of the stall with a credit card in hand, sniffing loudly and shouting "choo choo"
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
Also, there's definitely not a non-hilarious way to ask to stick something up your butt.
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him