Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
He told me he was married and then fingered me on the kitchen counter. It was awkward to explaining the broken toaster to my roommates this morning...
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
Randomize
