let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
Just promise me we won't die tonight. I can't have an autopsy report that reads "stomach contents: Tequila and semen."
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
Whats spookier? Halloween or waking up to a drunk text from your ex telling you how awesome you are at 2am
Randomize
