why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
While the bouncer was checking my purse, he found a bag of pasta noodles in it and asked me why I put them in my purse. I said to him: "So the guy knows I can cook."
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
Randomize
