I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
Randomize
