Phrase i just heard while watching the U.S. open: "Boy they have really trimmed it well, this has got to be the tightest hole in the Open."
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
Accidentally gagged on my toothbrush and puked up a Walgreen's cheeseburger. 1) I am not going to be on top of my game tonight. 2) Since when do I have a gag reflex? 3) Walgreen's cheeseburgers are awesome.
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
Randomize
