I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
This was baby jesus's way of getting you to wait until the next bikini wax
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
After we won that round of beer pong you attempted to swallow the winning ball whole claiming you had the mouth and jaw of a snake.
A snake? I must've been gone...
After that you got naked and hissed at people the rest of the night..
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
Randomize