Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
If I started a story with "That three-year-old totally deserved it," would you listen?
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
Apparently I've told this bouncer I stalk him on Instagram 3 times. I should stop drinking. I only remeber saying it tonight. early sign of Alzheimer's
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
Panties = found
Dear Douchebag, I would just like to formally issue this fuck you. You will be receiving a letter in the mail soon. With all of your stuff.
Randomize
