So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
DON'T BE A PUSSY. ONLY 1/3 OF THE WORDS IN YOUR LAST TEXT WERE MISSPELLED, WHICH MEANS YOU NEED 2/3 MORE SHOTS.
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
Randomize