He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
Now I get the fucking shakes every time I hear I'm Sexy And I Know It. Thanks, Captain Morgan.
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
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