woke up with food on the counter from chipotle, taco bell, green cactus, and on the border take out. explain?
you were trying to get this Spanish chick to sleep with you. you were showing her how much you "loved her native food."
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
Randomize
