eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
I’m once again drinking at eight am on a Sunday in my tutu. This garment is literally my best purchase ever.
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
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