non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
I just tried to put my feet in my slippers and found cans of beer in them. Christmas in fucking july.
Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This text is addressed to sober me: getting drunk by yourself may have seemed like a Good idea at first bit it can tell you that it wasn't ad fun as you thought it would be
Ps your lap top bag is FULL of empty beets
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
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