We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
I got vodka in my stocking. Having an alcoholic mom has paid off.
I woke up to a text that said "You're a fucking asshole" Why is she so pissed at me?
Im guessing it has something to do with running up to her boyfriend screaming "THIS IS SPARTA" and kicking him in the balls.
Is that considered a cock block?
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
Randomize
