he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
It's amazing how hard it it while drunk to not comment "fuck you" on dumb peoples' statuses
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
Randomize
