she was pretty much dry humping my leg when her boyfriend walked in. he says "you should probably leave." all i could come up with was "YEAH, I KNOW!"
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
I just cleaned your Jaeger vomit off my car with a knife. Don't ever say I don't love you.
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
Like how hard is it to come up to me with chocolate and wine and say "hey, you're beautiful. Wanna marathon Doctor Who in sweatpants?" Hell yes!
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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